So I was thinking to myself, how can I begin to write without introducing myself. Well hello, I am Toni and I am a student at Howard University in D.C. I hate math therefore I love writing. The End? No, not really. Technically I did show you a bit of who I am in Double Sided Mirror, and in order to know me, you have to know my life. I was born in New York, and was quickly moved to Jamaica where I lived for three years. I moved back to the States and lived in Brooklyn for a few months and then I moved to the Bronx. After that I was moved to Mount Vernon, Southside and Eastside. During this time my father was gone, taking care of his other five children and not me. I was shipped around from house to house because my mother wasn't able to take care of me for reasons untold. By the time I was back with my Mother my heart was cold and was starting to grow colder. I was already the tomboy who dressed like a boy and and acted like one as well. I was a smart kid but inside I was having a battle with myself that has yet to be won. I didn't see who I was and was trying to figure out who I was versus who I wanted to be.
With all the drama that was happening in my life, trusting people was like taking a really hard math final. But there were some people who made it past that wall and tried to help fight my battle with me. I was still trying to figure out what war I was trying to fight through though. Then it all came back to the man I called Daddy. I laugh because it always comes back to this man. He played such a little role in my life and yet was the main character for all my pain and stress.
It was tuff not having that man around to "Save the day". To "save me" when Mom got too out of hand, she's Jamaican, you know. To come to those Father Daughter Dances, to be there to talk to when that first boy broke my heart. But I dealt with it the way I could, and that was by making my heart as cold as possible. So I started to act out, I started to fight, I did all that " white shit" and so much more. There were so many times I tried to end it, but the end never came which made me think that my life might have something in store for me. So I broke out of that hate and asked myself why should I allow a man who's never been here to control me. So I decided that he was going to be my role model, for everything I was never go to be. I am never going to be beaten on, I'm never going to be with a man like that. I'm never going to see him again, unless I'm in his will and I collect because I AM the youngest he has... But I digress.
Despite my trial I still chose to shine above it and be bigger and better. So that's what I did, and look at where it got me now. At the best HBCU in the U.S. and doing bigger and better things. I just found it ironic that I go to school in D.C. and I found out he lives in Maryland... So I know we still don't know who I am, but the person inside is strong, determined, ambitious, corny, sensitive, deceptive, and loving. But if we still don't know who I am, we can find out together, join me... If you think I'm easily influenced, you are easily mistaken.
-True Tales of Toni
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